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Cheese’s Rules

Little known fact: Cheese and I go way back. We’ve been battle buddies for about 4 years now. Yes, we even got to play some Halo 2 together before the servers were shut down. We’ve played together for so long that we’ve got that familiar groove of knowing what we’re each going to do in Halo matches. I’ve also been known to juggle snipers across the map on Valhalla in Halo 3 for Cheese so he can have more ammo. (Also because you don’t want me sniping. Like, ever. Seriously. Worst. Idea. Ever. Up there with starting a land war in Asia.)


Yeah. So we’ve played together a time or no. Does it show?

Much like NCIS’s Gibbs, there are rules to playing Halo with Cheese. If you don’t abide by them…well…it was nice knowing you. Except you.

Cheese’s Rules for Halo

  1. No jumping. Jumping is bad for your….mental health. 
  2. Don’t chase FL00RCHESE. Just don’t do it. Unless you don’t value your life then, well, chase away.
  3. No running. Trying to run? Good luck.
  4. Stay out of my tree. Oh there’s a tree on the map? And you’re in it? That makes Cheese angry. And when Cheese is angry…..
  5. Sniper no sniping. That’s a nice sniper you got there. Too bad you won’t have it for long. 
  6. Their shit’s always better than ours. What? Our Scorpion respawned? Pffft fuck it. I’m gonna steal theirs and then go on a rampage. True story. 
  7. If I can’t have it, neither can they. Watch your power weapons and vehicles guys. If you’re not careful, Cheese is gonna steal your shit and if you chase him before he can use it, it’s going off the edge with him. 

So if you ever find yourself on Cheese’s team in MM, you’ll be okay. But if you’re on the other team…Good luck. You’ll  need it, especially if Cheese catches you in a tree with a sniper.

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