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Cheese’s Rules

Little known fact: Cheese and I go way back. We’ve been battle buddies for about 4 years now. Yes, we even got to play some Halo 2 together before the servers were shut down. We’ve played together for so long that we’ve got that familiar groove of knowing what we’re each going to do in Halo matches. I’ve also been known to juggle snipers across the map on Valhalla in Halo 3 for Cheese so he can have more ammo. (Also because you don’t want me sniping. Like, ever. Seriously. Worst. Idea. Ever. Up there with starting a land war in Asia.)

You know you want to know more.



Trolling. There’s a love/hate relationship at play here. We hate being trolled but damn do we love being the trolls. Bonus points for trolling each other. (Incidentally, this is also the reason we hope Halo never, ever implements a “vote to kick” system into matchmaking à la L4D style. Fuck the game, vote to kick each other the entire time – last one left wins!)

Ka Five has been known to troll across multiple games. What’s that? Your team got beat several times in a row in Halo and you rage quit to Gears of War? Hang on, let me switch to my GoD version of GOW and sit in your lobby and not choose a team (so you can’t kick me or start the game!) and annoy the shit out of you for leaving us.

Cheese likes the phone feature in GTA IV. Some guy ran him over for no reason one time so he spent the next 30 minutes relentlessly calling the guy. Over. And over. And over. If the guy answered, Cheese would hang up and call back. If he didn’t, Cheese would call back anyways.

Mango likes to troll Ka Five in every Minecraft world they are in together. Oh is that your bed there? Sweet. Let me make my room above yours with a glass floor so I can just stare at you and watch you sleep. Or the time Mango dug up to Ka Five’s room, left a long window, put up iron bars, and changed into a prisoner skin and stared at him. Drinking milk.

(Protip – ALWAYS drink milk around Ka Five. It’s his favorite. No really, it is.)

No surprise that my personal favorite happens to involve me, right? Instead of writing about it, I shall leave you with a twitter conversation. Yes it’s long but totally worth it. #inb4someonesaysTWSS

See Sam troll Paul.


A Story About Ka Five

What could I possibly say about Ka Five…oh wait! I know.

‘Nuff said.


Oh, and he really likes pink handcuffs and 8ft bullwhips…If you know what I mean. *wink*


A Story About Cheese

Once upon a time, I thought Cheese was black. Unfortunately he is not. I know, I know I was shocked too when I found out. But sometimes even though I know the truth, when he tells stories (like he often does when he gets off work) I still like to imagine him as a medium – sized, southern black man smoking his cigarette by the fire. And thanks to the video below, I now have a perfect image to reference from. This man Charles Ramsey, to me, is now the person I will see when I hear Cheese talk. And I’m OK with this.

Everyone, meet Fl00rcheese.




Team Food Fight Safari

Today in Team Food Fight history:

The team decides they need to go on safari they only way the know how. The Carter Cart, full of battle ready Spartans.

Remember – keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times and enjoy the ride!


Looking Back

Today in Team Food Fight history:

The team comes together for an epic run through Halo: Reach’s The Pillar of AutumnOr most of it anyways.

(Courtesy of Mango)


Who is TFF and why are we a thing?

Welcome to the new and improved official home of Team Food Fight. This is where we’ll be chronicling our antics through Halo (and maybe other games eventually) as we think of all the worst ideas ever and shoot to make them reality.

Why Team Food Fight? And who all is on the team?

Our team is comprised of four very different and unique individuals:

  • snickerdoodle
  • Forsaken Mango
  • Ka Five

We’ve been playing Halo together for a while now and one day, as we partied up, someone joked about us being TFF and the name stuck.

But Ka Five isn’t a food name like the rest!

We know. And attempts to coerce him to change his GT to Kiwi Assault have thus fair failed. That said, his gamertag originates from an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger force so we figure it’s close enough for government work and gave him a free pass. This time. 😉

We’re all very different people with different personalities but when we put in our Halo discs with the intent to have some fun, crazy things happen. We strive for shenanigans and have a pretty good track record for that if we do say so ourselves. At the very least, even if it’s a colossal failure we usually laughed (and cursed) a lot along the way.

No promises that what you’ll see is good but it’ll likely be random and will have amused us greatly. But we hope you stick around and enjoy and at the very least get a giggle or two out of the media we share with you. Because, you know….YOLO.